"They are best remembered for being the first person to throw a football into outer space, slam dunk a basketball into the earth’s core, do one million perfect kickflips in a row, and be a beautiful genius all at the same time."
- A line from my obituary if everything goes according to plan
worst day of my life
so today at about 545 am, i fell out of sleep & heard the door open to my room. my boyfriend Adrian was laying next to me. i knew it was Joe, my roomie, i saw him as the door was opening but i couldn’t get myself to say anything out loud. i was in complete shock.
his iPhone light was shining in the room trying to see if we were asleep. Adrian was but i was pretending.
i heard him come up to me & he started grabbing my butt. my heart was beating hard, i could hear it through my pillow. i was still trying to pretend i was asleep, i was trying my hardest to keep my eyes closed. i pretended to ‘toss and turn’ and started making my way towards Adrian in the hopes that he would stop but he didn’t. he kept touching me. my hand was on Adrian’s arm and i was trying to poke him, pinch him, anything, all while pretending to be asleep with a stranger’s hands on my body. the lightest touch, if i had been asleep i might have not even felt it. if i had really been asleep i probably wouldn’t have heard him masturbating, but i was awake the whole time. i moved again, burrowing my face into Adrian’s arm. i bit him. when he woke up and screamed, we both heard something hit our dining table and heard Joe’s door slam shut.
Adrian was still somewhat delirious from just waking up so i shut the door and started shaking and crying uncontrollably.
he pounded on Joe’s bedroom door to no answer, so he checked outside to see if he might have left, slamming doors left and right. i assured him that Joe was in his room.
he barged in, and Joe immediately denied everything. Adrian found him in bed at 6am wearing jeans.
i still didn’t have any courage to say a word to him. Adrian told him to leave, and Joe said he wouldn’t. Adrian had to go to work & i was not going to be home alone with Joe, so i went to work with Adrian.
while there, we found out that he had called a decent number of our mutual friends, asking them to believe him when i had NO intentions of bringing anyone into my business.
he also texted me saying that someone broke into the apartment and stole his tv through the sliding door in our living room. nothing was out of the ordinary when we left. if that had been the truth, we would have seen the blinds moving, my sliding door is also broken and doesn’t open or close easily at all. i never heard anything.
he’s a liar.
the night before, Adrian & i saw a movie on that same TV, with my laptop plugged into it. we told ourselves that if the laptop was there, he would be a liar.
we got home & couldn’t find it, so i decided to file a police report for the assault and for the laptop. i told the police officer nothing but the absolute truth. Joe had filed a police report earlier in the day (he happened to call into work this morning) for his TV. the officer did a quick search of his name & said there was a warrant for his arrest—domestic abuse. the officer told us right away that Joe’s story made no sense. someone broke in, stole the TV, and opened the door to my room (with the risk of getting caught) just to touch my butt. the officer didn’t buy it and he was arrested on the spot. the sad part is, he’s only being detained for his warrants, not for causing harm to me.
i thought he was my friend. someone with plenty of mutual friends who would describe him as a nice guy. not once did i ever ask him to pay for electricity or internet. i was struggling every day but never said anything. i avoid conflict.
he touched me and there’s nothing anyone can do or say to make me think otherwise.
i know what i saw with my own two eyes & i hope he carries the burden of his guilt for the rest of his life. I’m a good person with good intentions and this is something that i, unfortunately, cannot stay quiet about.
i refuse to be afraid in my own home.
Joe, your karma is coming.
all my life I’ve played it safe.
for the first time i broke rules.
i wish you would have met me when i was at my best.
that’s all you deserve.
once i held a super-seed in my womb — made of me and you — but i was confused — and i asked what should i do — and you said the time was wrong — and maybe you were right — but each day i wish we wouldst not make that sacrifice — yeah i got my fancy education — and you slept through the night — but each day i wonder if that one had my deep-brown, or your ice-blue eyes.